What to Do When Your Ex Won’t Follow the Custody Order
Parenting plans are legally binding custody orders designed to ensure both parents adhere to a structured schedule and co-parenting plan. But what happens when your ex refuses to follow the custody order? Whether they’re withholding parenting time, refusing to return the child on schedule, or ignoring key provisions of your agreement, you have legal options to enforce compliance.
In this post, we’ll walk through the steps you can take to hold your ex accountable and protect your parental rights.
1. Document Every Violation
Before taking legal action, start by keeping detailed records of every instance where your ex has failed to follow the custody order. This documentation should include:
Dates, times, and details of missed visitations or schedule violations
Screenshots of texts or emails demonstrating non-compliance
Notes on how the violations have impacted your child
Witness statements, if applicable
Having a well-documented record strengthens your case if you need to escalate the matter to court. If your case ends up in front of a judge, the burden of proof will fall to you to demonstrate that your ex is in violation of the order.
2. Communicate Clearly and in Writing
Before assuming the worst, try to resolve the issue through direct communication. If possible, send a polite but firm message (via email or a co-parenting app like Our Family Wizard) reminding your ex of the custody order’s terms.
Example:
"Per our parenting plan, I am supposed to have parenting time this weekend. Please confirm pickup at 5 PM on Friday. Let me know if there’s a scheduling conflict, but I need to follow the order."
This not only gives your ex a chance to correct their behavior but also provides written proof that you attempted to resolve the issue amicably, before engaging the court.
3. Use a Court-Approved Co-Parenting App
If communication is contentious, consider using a co-parenting app that tracks messages and schedules. Many courts recognize and recommend tools like:
Our Family Wizard (often preferred by courts)
TalkingParents
AppClose
These platforms create a record of all communications, making it harder for your ex to deny violations later. In addition to keeping a record of your communications, these apps allow you to input your custody schedule, calendar appointments for the children, share information, exchange expense data, etc. It even has call and video chat options, if facilitating communication is difficult by other means.
4. Request Mediation (if required by your custody order)
Some custody agreements require parents to attempt mediation before filing a legal action. A neutral mediator can help resolve disputes without escalating the conflict in court. Even if mediation isn’t required, it may be a helpful step to show the court you tried to resolve the matter reasonably. That said, if the situation is more serious or presents an emergency, you may need to skep this step to get assistance from the court on an expedited basis.
5. File a Motion for Contempt of Court
If your ex continues to violate the custody order, the next step is legal enforcement. In Georgia, you can file a Motion for Contempt with the court. This requests the judge to:
Order your ex to comply with the custody arrangement
Impose penalties such as fines, make-up parenting time, attorney’s fees, or even jail time for repeat offenders
Modify custody orders if the violations are serious enough to impact the child’s well-being
A contempt motion is a powerful tool, but you’ll need strong evidence (hence the importance of documentation).
6. Exercise Restraint Before Involving Law Enforcement
It may be tempting to call the police when your ex refuses to return your child or repeatedly violates the custody order, but involving law enforcement should be a last resort. Officers may be reluctant to intervene in family law disputes unless there is a clear and immediate risk to the child’s safety. Often, when the police are called to intervene in a custody dispute, they will make a report and inform the parties that it is a civil issue that should be handled by the civil courts.
Courts may also view your case with skepticism if your first reaction was to involve the police in a custody dispute.
That said, there are situations where law enforcement involvement may be necessary, such as:
Instances of parental kidnapping (where your spouse keeps the child well beyond their parenting time and refuses to return them or absconds with them)
If you have a court order explicitly directing law enforcement to assist with custody exchanges
Before taking this step, consider whether it will escalate conflict and further strain your co-parenting relationship. In many cases, legal action through the family court is the more effective route. It is generally a good idea to consult with an attorney before involving law enforcement, unless the situation is truly an emergency.
7. Seek a Custody Modification
If your ex consistently disregards the order and it negatively affects your child, you can request a custody modification. Courts prioritize the child’s best interests, and repeated violations could lead to a change in custody or parenting time.
Final Thoughts
Dealing with a non-compliant co-parent can be frustrating, but you don’t have to navigate it alone. Keep records, communicate clearly, and take legal steps when necessary. If your ex refuses to follow the custody order, an experienced family law attorney can help you enforce your rights and protect your relationship with your child.
Need help enforcing your custody order in Georgia? Contact Resurgens Legal Counsel for a consultation today via our website or by giving us a call at 770-765-7550.